I realize I’ve been away for a while (a long while) but I’m going to try to get back to blogging a little more regularly this year. I’m not one for resolutions, but my goal is to write here at least once a week. I have a couple of posts on the back burner from more than six months ago (I get so stuck when it comes to uploading pictures—such a pain!) and I realized that I would like a more concrete record of my life and what my family is up to. I journal about as sporadically as I blog, and looking back on 2014, I have almost no idea what we accomplished. Sure I remember the big things like our vacation to Florida, but the day-to-day minutia of life is completely lost to me. When did Sam start walking, exactly? When did CJ lose his first tooth? I think all these things happened in 2013 actually, but I’m not really sure. And frankly as a mother, that’s embarrassing.
I have Shauna Niequist’s quote “Present over perfect” hanging over the desk where I work, and I do believe I was present and in the moment for my kids and my husband more this year than in the past. I cleaned when I needed to clean but I also built houses out of Lincoln Logs with more gusto than I can remember having before. My kids are at such great ages—six and two. They’re playing together, running circles around our semi-open floor plan house, making forts out of the couch cushions, and fighting for time on the iPad. I feel like I can really talk to my six year old, and we have the most fun when we go out together for dates, just us. Our family time is also golden (well mostly, you know what I mean). We went out to dinner to celebrate the New Year at a fancier place than we normally go, and the kids colored and talked and managed to spend the entire meal at the table before their promised ice cream sundaes showed up. That is something we weren’t able to do before, especially with my two year old, and it was such a treat for me. I love going out to eat, and I love it even more when the entire family can be together. Food is memories. And I have a great memory of my kids and my husband sitting contentedly at the table with me, sharing my rigatoni bolognaise and humoring me and my mad desire to take the family out to eat to celebrate both the big and the little things.
We started off the year on a great note, and I can only hope that continues. Chris and I made a few small financial goals for the year, we’re hoping to make some minor improvements to the house and maybe even take a vacation. I started graduate school this fall, and I hope classes continue to go smoothly. I’m making conscious adjustments to my schedule to reduce some of the stress and guilt I seem to feel constantly, and I’m looking forward to seeing how that pans out. I think this year will be about giving myself the space to be my best self, even if that means I don’t always live up to the high standards I tend to set.
I’m only human after all.
Our Christmas card photo, by Knight Light Photography